So last night, I was up late flipping through channels when I landed on the Wendy Williams show.  (I’m not even going to get into why this show is still even on the air!)  She was at the segment of her show called “Hot Topics,” and one of the subjects was Chrisette Michelle.  The guest panel included a black male, two white females, and a Wendy.  The white women approached the subject very carefully saying things like, “It might not have been a smart career move,”  and “She should have represented her people.” (I shit you not, she said that) But the black man, oh, he just went all the way in.  Here’s some of what he said:  “Who is Chrisette Michelle anyway?  Can we name three of her songs?  I thought she just sang hooks…”  And then Melania Trump came up, and they spoke about her dress, and how pretty she was, and how she may or may not be in an abusive relationship.  They put the kitten gloves on for her.  I turned my tv off.

I don’t actually watch the news, but I do have Facebook.  And Facebook can be an excellent place to catch up on current events.  Since that dreaded inauguration, Chrisette Michelle has, by many black people’s standards, put herself on the same chopping block with the non-popular vote winning president, Donald Trump.  Facebook and Black Twitter have memed this poor child to death.  She is on the Breakfast Club’s show, (because apparently, she hasn’t gotten enough abuse) with Charlemagne the God with his Prince-Esque attire, while we create hashtags for #freemelania.  I’m really not sure if it is all in fun, but my fear is that it is not.  (Here’s where some of you get off the train)  My fear is that we are once again bullying the black woman but giving the white woman- because she has graduated to that level- a pass.  Melania gets to be the damsel while Chrisette gets to be the demon.  When people talk about Melania, it is with compassion when I don’t see the difference between her and Chrisette at all.

Chrisette is ours.  We all know a Chrissy, hell, some of us are Chrissy.  She/we met a man, he promised us karats ($750,000), and though our friends and family tried to warn us that he was no good, she/we were blindsided.  We followed our own path only to end up with zirconias, broken hearts, sleepless nights, tear-stained pillows, crabs, black eyes, bedbugs, other women riding in your car and holding your kids and $25, not even the $250k that Chrissy allegedly received.  Chrissy made a poor choice to many of us.  But I can’t, for the life of me, understand how we select who we choose to hate.  Well, I don’t hate her.  I look at her, and I see me, only my bad choices have not been on display for the world to see.  I’m going to continue to listen to my Chrisette Michelle albums because the child can sing and because many of you yelpers are still buying out R. Kelly concerts.  And as a word of caution, black folk, especially, be careful about jumping on the bandwagon to crucify your own when you would gladly make your back a wheel to roll some of these other women around.  Michelle Obama spoiled us.  We got to see her be lovely always, and yet I know she has her flaws as well.  The M.O. we know is exceptional by all standards, but these are not standards by which to compare everyone.

What I’ve learned from this ordeal is to use my judgment and when it is wrong, forgive myself, chop it up as a loss, and to save my pearls for Denzel, not Donald.

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