How Rapists are Made

About yesterday.

So, I wasn’t going to say anything about two students on two separate occasions making references about my female genitalia yesterday. (The one student repeated comments about my “coochie” over and over) But in light of all of this BS about Nate Parker and his movie, I think I will. I think I shall call this post:

“How a rapist becomes”

I was minding my own business yesterday taking my many trips to the bathroom when one student stated-from behind me- “that I was working with a lot,” and as I got closer to the bathroom, I overheard a security guard talking about one of my babies from last year eating coochie. (if this word makes you uncomfortable, good, cause that’s how I felt). I gasped loudly, and then he turned around and said “Ms. X, don’t act like you ain’t never had yours eaten before” and me, Ms. X, le urban professor, was at a loss for words. My body began to feel as if it were going to burst into flames from rage. I asked, ‘what did you say?’ and to my chagrin, he repeated it. The women swarmed him and began yelling at him, but he would not back down. I found out what class he was in, pulled him out, and took him to a male in the building. I explained what happened, and the male said, “You’re not a bad kid as far as I can tell. Do you have a crush on her?!” (Sigh). I walked out saying if it happened again, that I would be filing a police report and pressing charges.

I then texted my male confidant and he said, “You’re gonna have to get used to that. Maybe you should wear looser pants and longer shirts. Men and boys are going to do that because you are beautiful. (gag).

I stopped. Because I began to understand what this was all about. I’m not dumb, but still, sometimes simple shit escapes me. Im almost 41. In this building, I have inherited the rep of being a bitch because I refuse to lie down and take bullshit, but sometimes, I get tired of fighting. So the males would have me to believe that if I get up and put on makeup and clean clothes, that I, in some way, have brought some form of harassment on myself? Fuck you. I grew up with the overly touchy cousins, the uncles who hugged all the girls and had them sit on their knees, the male family friends who ya mama told you not to take a ride from. All my life I have had to guard myself against vultures and simultaneously defend the black man. So here’s a simple truth. Black men are beautiful and wonderful and amazing. But some of Y’all ain’t shit. And that’s a hard truth. I must say to my black sons and grandson that I love you and do good by women, but I must also say that we have to be honest about everything. WE help to create rapists when we don’t stand up to the people who show no respect for women-when they say inappropriate things, make inappropriate gestures, listen to music that demeans women. I know at least 40 good men, but the two young boys have to be counted into the total number I know as well. And those two, unfortunately, can and will multiply if we continue to tell our girls that they must dress appropriately so that they will not be raped.

Women. Women came to my rescue yesterday as they have over and over in my life. But reading these posts about how petty women can be posted by other women have made me frown. Do you really believe that all, most, even some women set out to destroy these men? While destroying themselves in the process? Kill themselves because they needed to exact that much revenge?

I don’t know if Nate Parker raped that woman. I wasn’t there. Neither were you. And if one more so and so tells me that white men have been raping black women for years and making movies, I’m going to scream. Have we sunk so low that now our only comparison is to sex offenders? I won’t see Birth of a Nation. I won’t see R. Kelly in concert, I won’t listen to a Trump speech for as long as I live because he believes that grabbing pussy is ok and all I can think about is someone grabbing my daughter, sisters, cousins, students…

This is not a post to try and dissuade you from seeing anything. But I will say that we have to get ourselves together. Black folk, we got two fights: one is #blacklivesmatter, and the other is #womenmatter. I’m sure that we can find the strength to handle both.

forward. upward. onward.

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