As someone who surfs Facebook quite frequently, over the past couple of days, I have seen a lot of posts about to make a resolution or not. For some, it is a ritual that accompanies the new year. One makes a promise to rethink, cut off, begin, restart something in their life that has either ceased or never started at all. I used to be one of those persons. In July, I would profess to begin whatever it was, and when the new year began, be angry at myself for having started whatever it was sooner.
Then, my husband died.
My husband had, for months, boasted about changing his life and his circle once the new year began. He was going to “cut off almost everyone but family and just focus on his children and relatives.” He was using the remainder of the year to get it all out of his system and then December 14, 2011, his life ended.
I know that he intended to change. I know that he intended to change, that he was waiting like so many others to just embrace the year that would bring him to a new beginning. I was heartbroken that he was not able to begin his new life as soon as that thought came to him, and then I began thinking about all of the people who do the same thing.
I don’t think that having a new year’s resolution is a bad thing, but why do we wait? Why is it that we think that we have time to spare? Is it that we are hopeful, procrastinators, traditionalists, or are we afraid?
The fact is, is that we really don’t know how much time we have left here. Time is a both a gift and a curse because we really don’t know when it will be up. My elders used to say to me all of the time, “Here today, gone tomorrow.” With everything I’ve seen, it is here today, gone today. There is nothing wrong with resolutions. For me, the problem is the wait. Maybe we would all be much better off if we would only pretend that each day is a new year so that it might not feel like steps on a journey that might never happen. Because all we really have is now. Appreciate and embrace the now.
Forward. Onward. Upward.